Lost In The Ozone

This is where I have been for the last week or so. My dog, my daughter's really, has been recovering from surgery and it's been hard. Hard to watch, hard to deal with, hard to pay for. All that and more. She had a toe removed. There was a cancerous growth that literally appeared over night. She was supposed to go for dental surgery, but instead this happened.

The doctor, Dr. Sivi (that's shortened) was really terrific. It didn't unnerve him that I was crying when he told me it had to come off, or when he told me it was bad, or that it could re-grow. That she had a good five years left. She would look at me with those eyes and say "what happened? What did I do?" And I would get so sad.

She's a little Maltese named Mitzi and is very smart. She has me completely trained and the funny thing is that I would do anything for her. But I think that is the way with people who love their pets. This is one of the fastest growing sectors in the economy. I read that even when things are bad, people still spend money on their pets. I was out of work once for about a year. I had to quick get a job (thank you art department person who lied to Simon & Schuster that I could proofread) and did proofreading 12 hours a day. My first two paychecks went to my cat who had cancer. I ate potatoes.

Anyone who has had a cat or dog recovering from surgery will be familiar with THE CONE. It hits walls, the floor, sidewalk, you, the water dish. Before they took her bandage off I would take it off while I was home. But at night I couldn't trust her so it went back on. I had no idea how noisy a plastic cone could be during the night. One could say it makes you SLEEPLESS. For five days I probably slept a total of 5 hours. She couldn't get comfortable. Who could with a plastic cone on their head. Truth is, she was a good sport. The stitches came out, the cone came off, and now I have to monitor her closely for a while. And she still has to have her dental surgery.

Wow that was all really depressing! My friend from high school, Carol, came into town from Petaluma, CA with her daughter who is interning at Shakespeare in the Park. I'm hoping for tickets. Spur of the moment last Friday she called me tot say did I want to go see Awake and Sing! - the Clifford Odets play. I was really excited. I haven't seen a play in a long time and this is a classic. Ben Gazzara was the lead, and while I never understood his vocal choice for the old Jewish grandfather, the play bowled me over. The sets were fabulous and the lighting perfect...and there was even a little black dog named Tootsie who was taken to the roof to do her thing. She did not get a curtain call.

This last week has been tough at work too - very demanding and requiring complete focus. I need a vacation, which I am taking soon. NANTUCKET. Been going for a long time. And I have pretty much gone with just my daughter - except for a honeymoon, and a few family trips with #2. But I have a feeling this may be the last summer. As much as she loves it there, it's getting a little old to go with your mother. It would probably help if I went with about $4000 to blow. Counting pennies on vacation isn't much fun. So keep your fingers crossed for Mega Millions. I do.

No one is reading my blog. I've been bloggered. My daughter has lots of hits on hers and seems to have national readership. But she is very funny and really should be a writer or a stand-up comedian. She could do either. She could do anything she wanted. And she makes me very proud.

This was such a tough couple of weeks my IPOD drained. So I'm charging it while I write. There's a song I'm looking for but I can't play it yet to see if it's on there.

I'm tired and I have to be at work early tomorrow. Workmen are coming and they don't work my hours. So I must work theirs.
So I will say what I always say when it gets to this point....

Good night, Gracie.

EVERYDAY CAN BE AMAZING

Today I blew off work early so I could have that feeling of personal time. I'd had someone organizing my files at home in the morning and I left the airconditioning on all day. It felt great when I walked in.
I won't go into details of how I spent my afternoon. Let's just say it went the way I wanted and the result was that I felt like part of the human race again.
So my dog and I took a little nap and wok up to a phone call from my daughter who is very concerned about her future. I am too but I remain confident that it won't be too long before she is plugged into something she wants. As far as I'm concerned she's way ahead of the game.
After our conversation I realized I needed to go to the grocery store to get dog food...gee, mabye even something for me!
It was ok because I had my radio and was kind of basking in the day. There weren't many people at the store - it was about 6:00 on a Friday - so it didn't take me too long. I got to the checkout and the young woman seemed really unhappy to be there. I decided to see if I could help her change her attitude, so I said "hi how are you today?" she sort of half-smiled and then she noticed the dog food and treats. "Do you have a dog?"
Yes I said. I was buying extra treats because she had just had surgery.
Well that was the watershed moment. She turned her attention to me, while still ringing things up, but now she was engaged. She became a person...a living breathing person with a life. I told her about the operation and then she launched into telling me about her dog, named Prince. An English bull terrier mix...how he had burned himself on the radiator and she had put cream on it...mistake because he licked it and it got infected. The final reveal was that she was working hard hours and going to school so the dog was staying with her mother...She smiled. I love that dog, she said. They are members of the family.
I told her to have a good weekend, and she said the same.
It was so easy to reach out. What was different from that guy on the train? For one, I initiated the conversation. Two, the space was safer. Three it was not about me.

So what about all this? If everyone had a dog there would be no more wars.

Say goodnight, Gracie.

OKAY! I'm embarrassed that I could not remember my sign-in name. My daughter says that I don't deserve to blog because I am techno-challenged. I admit that I used to have my assistant download all the photos from the digital camers in the office, but I have actually learned how to do it myself. I just don't remember where they are.

But there are a lot of things I do know how to do that she doesn't. I have a pair of her pants she gave me...but she doesn't want me to hem them for her...she says she doesn't trust me. Well, do I pay $15 to have someone do it, or should I just do it and not tell her. If she's reading this she'll never know.

Tonight was the last time my church choir was singing (I am an alto) until September. So I had to leave work early for rehearsal at 5:30. Tonight was Corpus Christie. I've been a card-carrying Episcopalian all my life and I have no idea of the significance of that service. So I walked to Bloomies to get the R and changed at 42nd Street to the 2. I got a little distracted because there was a guy playing acousitc guitar where Susan Cagle (Subway Recordings) usually stands on Sunday mornings. I walked past him and then I thought "this guy can sing AND play guitar. I'll ask him if he has a band." Well I did, and he does, but I gave him my card in case he needed a violin/fiddle player. So I get on the 2 and as the train is leaving this guy, probably about 65 in those dark blue work clothes, sits down in a hurry next to me. There were plenty of seats. And I was minding my own business. So he asks me in Italian if I am Italian. Here's the funny part... I answer out of the corner of my mouth "AMERICANO" . Now where the hell did I get that! So then he asks me (remember I am NOT looking at this guy who is kind a red-faced) in English what my name is. I just smiled and grunted and looked in the opposite direction even harder. So he gets up at 34th Street to leave, and he says "good bye miss". I dutifully nod.

Okay...here's the thing. Part of me was a bit guilty about seeming rude. Part of me said who the hell was this guy just assuming that I would talk to him. I don't mind smiling inocuously but I don't like to randomly give out my name.

What is the moral of this story? Take better care of your dog's teeth so it doesn't cost you $1200.

Say goodnight, Gracie

Well, welcome to my world. I consider myself fairly rational. But living in NYC over a period of time seems to somehow change that. So my plan is to give myself the opportunity to share my experiences with those of you who choose to read them. This isn't meant to be anything but what it is. And it is what it is. So thanks for reading and come back soon. Gracie